William
When William and his wife Charlene moved back to Edinburgh after two years living in Seattle they knew it would be a challenge. It was like starting over again. But Freddie, 6, Elsie, 4 and Harry, 2 soon started to settle in after going straight back to Dads Rock.
William, a civil engineer, said it was a relief to see the kids happy and feeling welcomed after two years away.
“We all really missed Dads Rock in the US. We never found anything like it and as soon as we started going back we knew how much they got out of it. The kids are so comfortable there and they remembered everyone. It was new to Harry but he quickly got into it. They all love it. Freddie can by shy but he isn’t at Dads Rock! The team is so engaging with the kids.”
Coming back again was a home from home. William first went to Dads Rock six years ago. At the time he had struggled to find other Dads groups. As a first-time Dad William felt he had to get out and find ways to make the Dad-son time with Freddie special. William felt he needed to connect with other Dads. He found it hard to chat as most of his friends were back in Ireland and none of the friends living nearby at that time were parents.
“We have no family support here, with my family in Ireland and Charlene’s in the US. It was easier for me to stay at home but I knew it was important for me to go out and meet new people. When I first started going, Char was at home on maternity leave while I went back to work. We had very traditional roles in that sense. She was going to all these parent and child groups.”
“The thought of going along to a group was a challenge. But pushing myself to go was the right thing to do.”
Six years later William now goes along every week with his kids. And he has invited other Dads along who also now come every week.
“It’s important for me to be the one there, on my own with all the responsibility for the kids is on me. Char does that most of the week. If I go to groups with mums I feel Dads tend to stand back, for me that is usually out of fear I might be doing something wrong. At Dads Rock there’s a different dynamic.”
At Dads Rock William doesn’t worry about what other parents think or about being judged. The group creates a safe environment where Dads naturally open up to each other. And William says it’s still helping him grow as a father.
“It’s more common for Dads to keep stuff inside. At Dads Rock there’s no pressure to talk but it’s easier because there’s lots of open play. So the Dads naturally end up talking while playing or watching their kids. I have found out a lot from other Dads about the way they do things. I get a lot out of being able to help Dads in the group and seeing Days Rock members helping with even just little things, like reading books. We have our way of parenting and I share that. I have learned to be more easy going, to let the kids have a bit more leeway.”
“I have made many friends and we keep in touch outside the group as well. It has really opened me up. Dads Rock is one of the best things I have done for my kids.”